Day 31 - why I'm a lousy pastor.

Day 31 and the end of the first month of my daily blog. A day with hard emotions.
I was called to the bed side of a dear friend who was breathing his last few breathes.
Enter Gilbert the Pastor. Here is why I'm such a lousy pastor - I forgot to read the passage of the Bible I had chosen; forgot to pray with the family; and the first words I said as I walked into the quiet, anxious ICU room was "what's the old goat done now!"
The other pastors on our church staff would be so good at this kind of visit. Ann would know exactly how to pray and would visit every family member bringing comfort and putting a caring arm around them. Lonney would read a suitable Psalm and pray with the family around the bed with his calming, pastoral voice. But me - despite going to seminary twice - I miss these expected pastor actions.

But I did go. I went because Dale is my friend, a friend who God allowed me to play a small part in helping him find Jesus.

Dale is nothing like me - 65 years old, rode horses, a paid up member of the NRA, a legendary sheriff's posse, a dedicated Republican, never travelled outside of the USA, viewed anything foreign as suspicious ...and so the list could go on.

But alongside the Jesus that we shared, we shared the belief that the church must change for the sake of reaching more and more people.
I'm sure Dale hated our church music and a whole lot of other things that wouldn't appeal to his NRA conservatism - but my friend never complained, or even hinted that he didn't like the new things. Rather, over an enchilada style burrito we talked about life, politics and the church being alive to a new generation.

It was a strange friendship. I'm sure staff at our local Mexican restaurant called Daniel's must have wondered who this old goat was with Gilbert.

And because of all this, and because of all our history - I'm sure Dale would have expected me to walk in calling him an old goat and forgetting to do what most pastors do ......in one way because that's what he always liked - "do it differently Gilbert, keep us surprised."

Now that kind of pastor I can be and that was the kind of friend Dale was.

Who would have thought my red blooded, gun loving, 'Obama and the Democrats are everything that are wrong with this nation', duck hunting, big truck driving friend would have had me as his favorite pastor.

Who would have thought I'd have become a normal pastor?

Day 30 - still learning about grace.

Day 30 and I've spent the day reading (while catching up on Premier League football).
In particular I read the book Tithing: Test Me In This @ Douglas Leblanc. The key idea that spoke to me was the idea that the tithe (giving 10% of income to God) are the training wheels that get you going on the path of giving. If you can capture the spirit of what God is asking and it becomes a reality in your life, you can forget about tithing.

Becoming a generous person.

I still have the tendency to take biblical teaching and make it into a legal transaction. I've fought against this bias for many years with some degree of success (grace a huge reality in my life both towards others and living in it myself), but despite that progress, I still can lean to legalism. This afternoon I discovered that I've leaned too much towards legalism in my tithing.

We tithe - have done so since we attended seminary in Scotland. We learned to do so out of our poverty (relatively speaking). We had a mere $4000 per year to live off of and yet during this time we learned that giving 10% of our precious income to God was not only the right thing to do but the best thing to do. We placed our financial survival fully in God's hands.

But over the years our tithe has not moved much from the 10% principle. We give to our children's charity beyond our tithe, but the 10% tithe has remained our baseline.
This afternoon's reading has challenged me on seeing the baseline increase in 2010.

Jesus repeatedly said "you have heard that it was said, but I say unto you". Constantly Jesus took grace and says grace asks for more.

My follow of Jesus today was to learn from Him.
Tomorrow's must be to act on the learning ......especially when the offering basket passes me during the service.

Day 29 and hopefully normal service is resumed.

Day 29 and hopefully back to normal - no more flights through multiple time zones, no more erratic internet connections, no more jet-lag. Good to be home.
All I can do is ask you to trust me that in the days my blog fell silent, I truly did try to live intentionally in following Jesus. When you are in a foreign country surrounded by poverty and disease - the mind and your discipleship is very focused.

So I re-enter America - surrounded by comfort, no persecution, gadgets and help at my fingertips, distractions all around me to tug me away from self denial to self indulgence, everything to have no need of daily faith ......but also every opportunity to live a deeply devotional and bold life of faith.

Today - I shared my faith with my hairdresser.

Tomorrow - I hope to choose wisely.

Day 24 - and alongside some searching questions I forgave a German lady!

Day 24 and sorry that I've missed a few ...something to do with African internet access and matatu traffic!
The past few days hve been very powerful. If poverty is not the lack of money, but the lack of options then the work that the Furaha Community Centre are doing in the Huruma slum is incrdible. Four leaders and some excellent teachers who had the options to leave the slum - stayed to give orphans that option. This is incarnational Christianity.
This definition of poverty redefines Jesus. He became poor - He gave up His options for the sake of others.
So for the past few days this is the question that has been piercing me - "what options am I not willing to give up in my following of Jesus?"

The past few days have seen me ask multiple searching questions of myself. Questions about what we/I are doing in Kenya? Questions about the white man in a black continent? Questions about global Christianity without the dollar buying power? Questions about how I live?
Socrates once said "the unexamined live is not worth living" - I think this is my intentional follow of Jesus - examining my life and all that I am involved in leading.

And then today - just finished breakfast and I forgave the German lay who stole my omlette!

We head to church in a few minutes to worship in Swahili - 2 hours of understanding perhaps a few words, but joining together with some of the most courageous and worshipful people around.

Karibu.

Day 21 - Jambo!

Day 21 - I know guys, sorry I missed 2 days ...something to do with a 53 hour hounery to Kenya at 39,000ft and no Internet connection.
So for the past few days I've been flying and then today - I met some of the heroes in my life. Four young guys leading Furaha Community Centre, Huruma slum, Kenya.
WOW - these guys ooze faith.
Its been a great few days:
Travelling with next folks; getting our 560 shoes through customs ...in fact getting them to arrive in Nairobi (which is often called NiRobby!)
And as that happened - prayers of Thanksgiving to God.

Intentional living for Jesus - seekijg faith to see what God is doing here and faith enough to take the next bold step ...purchase of 10 acres in Kenya to build safe houses.
As we listened to to guys sharing their vision and standing on the soil they see as where it could happen - is my faith strong enough. Forces you to your knees asking for more faith, knowing that it not about our volume of faith, but the level of trusting the One we are placing our faith in.
Our four heroes see God as big!
Do I?
Or ......am I too rational, too analytical, too wanting to be in control.
Africa, God are teaching me lesson again of faith and trust.
I guess my intentional living is being willing to be taught these lessons.

Unsure when I'll blog again ...but hopefully by then I will have a stronger faith because I've cleared clutter and found God clearer.

Jambo!

Day 18 - the beginning of 11 intentional days, with chutzpah!

So its early on Day 18 ....but today begins eleven unusual days. I fly to Kenya today (yep, just as some more rioting happened on the streets - pray for calm in Nairobi as the minority Muslim population clash with police over the deportation of a cleric).
One thing that's for sure - when you fly 11,000 miles and arrive in the noise and poverty of Nairobi, and when you walk into the Huruma slum - your spiritual antenna is pretty high!
We've always known intense spiritual warfare when a team from Redeemer's Church heads to Kenya (and Guatemala). So this requires us to stay spiritually vigilant.
Praying for good health, praying for safety in the air and on the ground, praying for good team chemistry, praying for great conversations with our guys in Huruma, praying for Ben and his driving of our matatu (wow that is always an experience). Praying.
St Paul said something about "pray without ceasing" - this morning and the next 11 days I know what that means. You just live every breath every thought and pray it to the Throne of Grace.

Its a great way to start the year. It causes you to sharpen your intentional Jesus living. You can't go into Huruma without Jesus - not just for protection, but without Jesus we've got nothing to bring.

So ...unsure if I'll have much access to web to blog days 19 - 28 ...I'll try. But if not be sure that the next eleven days I'm not opting out of intentional following of Jesus, rather, I'm hard at it and so are the other 8 folks on the team with me!

Day 17 - what I intentionally didn't do

Day 17 and its raining in Reedley. Our family love it - Scottish and all that. you know it rains on average 220 days a year in Scotland (I think this alone disproves evolution - Scottish people should have webbed feet by now!); it rains maybe 20 days a year in Reedley ...so this is a good day.

Praying that it stays dry in Haiti - so many homeless, rain would be disastrous both in spreading disease and bringing even more discomfort.

So today I intentionally worshipped God. I especially found the song we sang called "Humble King" as so helpful to not only declare who this God is, but who this God stands alongside - the poor, the needy, the distraught.

I intentionally was careful with my words and my appearance. I didn't want anything to distract people from seeing how incredible Rabbi Jesus is.
This is such a simple things, but I think significant.
I got up and wanted to wear a certain top - but I know the top might distract peoples attention - but I wanted people to focus on the right thing.
Then, during our service as I thanked a neat guy for what he shared I could have made a joke or two about him - but I didn't want attention to come to me but to Christ - so I paused on any humor and spoke about something deeply spiritual that involved my friend.
I intentionally didn't distract people from Jesus.

Amongst the busy of a church teaching day - it was what I didn't do that for me was clearly my intentional following of Jesus.