Day 13 - inequilibrium.

Day 13.....and thanks for the concern over my neck. Doing remarkably well - the fear of another 'man massage' is obviously working!

Strange day.
I found myself travelling back from Sacramento without my usual music or teaching CD's playing but rather contemplating and thinking in silence. Ended up humming the tune to the simple song "Count your Blessings", a song I grew up with. The lyrics include:
"Count your blessings;
name them one by one;
and it will surprise you
what the Lord has done."

So I did. This was my intentional follow of Jesus today.
I began to recount the multiple ways that God today blessed me - breath to breathe; food to eat; safety as I drove the mad CA-99 (although I must admit I look nervously in my rearview mirror at every stop light!); ability to think and engage in good discussions; car to drive; family to return to; health; great colleagues; and many more.
Wow - how many days am I too busy or distracted to fail to see all that God has done. Great little song.

But then as I sang the song and thanked God for His blessings it hit me hard that my mind was on this simple song - on the same day that thousands of Haitians felt as though God was nowhere and had withdrawn His blessings. A 7.0 earthquake and millions homeless, injured and thousands dead.

Fortunately, our friend Lucson who lives in Haiti is safe - but as I sang about God's blessings I struggled to thank Him for my blessings as I cried out to Him to help Haiti.
I head to bed still processing this.
The inequilibrium of reality. The tension of faith that this creates. The surrender through mixed/confused emotions to a God who is bigger than me.
I know I can through a theology around this tension - but my theological theory seems so inadequate ...and so for me the tension remains.

I end the day wondering why that song came to my mind on such a dreadful day.

In faith and sadness I surrender Haiti to God, as well as my tension.